[00:02.60]（梅西百货感恩节游行） 
[00:04.70]Hey, hon? Would you help me get the plates down? 亲爱的，你可以帮我把盘子拿下来吗？ 
[00:07.34]Hey, here's an idea. Why don't we use our wedding china today? 嘿，我有个主意 我们今天用我们的结婚瓷盘好不好？ 
[00:11.21]Or we could save them for a fancy special occasion. 或者我们可以等到很特别的场合再用 
[00:14.81]How about this: You could treat me like I'm an equal.. 可不可以这样： 你要不就平等对待我… 
[00:18.25]or talk down to me like I'm a child. 要不就把我当成小孩对我说话 
[00:22.68]No, I just think we should save our china for something really special. 不，我只是认为我们应该把瓷盘留到 真正特别的场合使用 
[00:26.59]Like if the queen of England comes over. 像是英国女皇来访的时候 
[00:29.49]Honey, she keeps canceling on us. Take the hint. 亲爱的，她一直取消跟我们的约 你还不懂那是什么意思吗？ 
[00:33.56]What if something breaks? They're expensive. 打破了怎么办呢？它们可是很贵的 
[00:35.86]What is the point of having them if we never use them? 东西摆着不用的意义何在呢？ 
[00:39.07]Okay. But if something breaks and then the queen comes over.. 好吧，但是如果打破了 然后女王又要来访… 
[00:42.24]- I will explain it to her. - Like I'd let you talk to the queen. -我会跟她解释 -你以为我会让你跟她说话啊 
[00:47.78]Wow, the parade is really good this year. 哇，今年的游行真是棒 
[00:50.98]Man, those horses can crap. 天啊，那些马还真能拉屎 
[00:54.45]Next up is a marching band from Muskogee, Oklahoma. 下一个游行队伍是来自 奥克拉荷马州的马斯科吉 
[00:57.12]Muskogee? That's like four hours from Tulsa! 马斯科吉？离土尔沙才四小时车程！ 
[01:02.42]Y'all look great! 你全看起来棒透了！ 
[01:04.16]That's right, I said "y'all!" 没错，我是说“你全” 
[01:07.10]Here's the float with the stars of the popular daytime soap.. 接下来是日间肥皂剧… 
[01:10.23]Days of Our Lives. 《我们的日子》的众星们 
[01:15.57]Oh, my God! 喔，我的天！ 
[01:17.91]Aren't you one of the stars of the popular daytime soap Days of our Lives? 你不是日间肥皂剧 《我们的日子》众星之一吗？ 
[01:21.98]I forgot! I'm supposed to be there! 我忘了！我应该要参加游行的！ 
[01:26.25]I can't believe I forgot! I usually write stuff like this down on my arm! 我不敢相信我忘了！ 我通常会写在手臂上的！ 
[01:32.92]Stupid long sleeves! 烂长袖衣服！ 
[01:36.93]- What are you gonna do? - I'll come up with a good reason.. -你要怎么办呢？ -我得找个好借口说明… 
[01:39.96]why I wasn't there. 我为什么没有到 
[01:41.70]The producers are gonna be mad. They sat us down and said: 制作人一定会很生气 他们昨天把我们全都叫进去然后说： 
[01:44.67]"Everyone has to be there,6 a.m. sharp. That means you, Tribbiani." “大家都要在早上六点整到 尤其是你，崔比亚尼” 
[01:49.90]Like I was some kind of idiot. 好像我是什么笨蛋似的 
[01:54.61]Well, you proved them wrong. 嗯，你刚好证明了他们是错的 
[01:58.21]The One With Rachels Other Sister 
[00:00.00]
[02:44.96]Oh, Emma. 喔，艾犸 
[02:47.36]This is your first Thanksgiving. 这是你第一个感恩节 
[02:50.57]What are you thankful for? 你要感谢什么呢？ 
[02:53.10]Mommy's boobies? 妈咪的胸部吗？ 
[02:55.94]A lot of people are thankful for those. 很多人都会感谢那东西的 
[03:01.04]Hello? Rachel? 哈啰？瑞秋？ 
[03:03.18]Who is it? 是谁？ 
[03:04.48]It's your favorite sister. 是你最喜欢的妹妹 
[03:07.72]- Jill? - Amy! -吉儿？ -艾美！ 
[03:10.32]Hide my rings. 把我的戒指藏起来 
[03:17.09]Amy! Happy Thanksgiving. 艾美！感恩节快乐 
[03:25.17]Do you have a hair straightener? 你有没有直发器呢？ 
[03:28.40]Hi. 嗨 
[03:30.77]- Hi. - Hi. -嗨 -嗨 
[03:32.24]Hair straightener. 直发器 
[03:34.78]- I haven't seen you in, like, a year. - I know. I know. I've just been crazed. -我好像一年没有见到你了 -我知道，我知道，我忙翻了 
[03:39.38]Well, me too. I had a baby. 喔，我也是，我生了小孩 
[03:43.22]I decorated Dad's office. 我把爸的办公室重新装璜了一次 
[03:46.35]Yeah? Well, unless you pushed a desk out of your vagina, not the same thing. 是吗？除非你有把桌子从阴道挤出去 否则那可是不同的事 
[03:52.86]About that hair straightener, honey, I really need one. 关于直发器的事 亲爱的，我真的需要 
[03:55.63]I'm gonna have dinner at my boyfriend's house. 我要到我男朋友家用晚餐 
[03:59.43]Oh, my God. 喔，我的天 
[04:01.70]Is this Emmett? 这是爱门吗？ 
[04:07.74]It's Emma. 是艾犸 
[04:10.14]It's a girl? 是个女生？ 
[04:13.51]- Hey, Amy. - Amy, you remember Ross? -嗨，艾美 -艾美，你记得罗斯吧？ 
[04:17.29]Not really. 不太记得 
[04:19.32]But you are much cuter than that geeky guy she used to date. 但是你比她之前的呆头鹅男友可爱多了 
[04:25.93]That was me. 那个人就是我 
[04:28.40]No, he was this creepy guy from high school who had this huge crush on her.. 不，他是高中时代的怪男生 从好像是九年级… 
[04:32.63]since, like, the ninth grade. 就很喜欢她的 
[04:34.64]Still me. 那还是我 
[04:36.90]No, I'm not talking about you. 不，我不是在说你 
[04:38.74]It was your fat friend's brother with that bad Afro. 那是你那个胖朋友的哥哥 留着可笑的黑人头 
[04:41.78]Okay, Amy, I'm gonna save you some time, okay? All me! 好了，艾美，让我节省你的时间 都是我！ 
[04:50.79]Careful. Careful. 小心，小心 
[04:54.29]Careful! 小心！ 
[04:56.56]I'll tell you what. For the rest of our lives.. 这样子好了 我们这一辈子… 
[04:59.06]I'll be careful until told otherwise. 我都会很小心，除非你要我做别的 
[05:03.63]- This isn't the china we picked out. - I know. -这不是我们选的瓷盘 -我知道 
[05:06.30]After you left the store, I chose different ones. 在你离开店里之后，我选了别的 
[05:10.31]- Why? - Your taste is a little feminine for me. -为什么？ -你的品味对我而言太女性化了 
[05:14.51]Suddenly flowers are feminine? 花朵什么时候变成女性化的象征了？ 
[05:18.18]Hey, everybody! Happy Thanksgiving! 嘿，大家好！感恩节快乐！ 
[05:21.32]- Happy Thanksgiving. Phoebe! - What's going on, Joe? -感恩节快乐，菲比 -怎么了，乔伊？ 
[05:23.82]Listen, I need a good lie. 听着，我需要编个天衣无缝的谎 
[05:26.22]Okay. 好的 
[05:27.89]How about the whole "man walking on the moon" thing, you know? “人类走在月球上”那个谎言如何？ 
[05:32.66]You can see the strings, people! 根本就可以看到线，真是的！ 
[05:36.16]No, no, no. I need a good lie to explain why I wasn't at a work thing today. 不，不，我需要一个谎言来解释 为什么我今天错过了一件工作的事 
[05:40.47]- Honey, you stink at lying. - I do not. -亲爱的，你根本不会说谎 -我会的 
[05:43.17]Really? Let me ask you something. Yesterday at the coffeehouse.. 真的？让我问你 昨天发生在咖啡屋的事… 
[05:46.67]I went to the bathroom. When I came back, my muffin was gone. Who took it? 我去上厕所，回来的时候我的松饼 就不见了，是谁拿走的？ 
[05:51.81]Somebody opened the door to the coffeehouse.. 有人打开咖啡屋的大门… 
[05:54.18]and a raccoon ran in and went straight for your muffin. I said: 然后一只浣熊就跑进来 直接拿走你的松饼，我说： 
[05:58.32]"Hey, don't eat that! That's Phoebe's!" And he said.. “嘿，不能吃！那是菲比的！” 然后他说… 
[06:03.86]He said, "Joey, you stink at lying." What am I gonna do? 他说“乔伊，你根本不会说谎” 我该怎么办呢？ 
[06:07.83]Don't worry. We'll come up with a lie. I'll help you. 别担心，我们会想个谎的 我会帮你的 
[06:10.73]- Great. That'd be great. Thank you. - Sure. What was the work thing? -太好了，太棒了，谢谢你 -没问题，你错过了什么工作的事？ 
[06:16.20]- "Pick up Grandma at the airport." - Oh, man! -“到机场接奶奶” -喔，天啊！ 
[06:22.54]She's precious. 她真是我的心肝宝贝 
[06:25.35]Do you ever worry that she's gonna get your real nose? 你会不会担心 她会遗传到你真正的鼻子？ 
[06:29.25]Amy.. 艾美… 
[06:32.29]Yes, I do. I really do. 是的，我会，我真的会 
[06:39.09]Hello? 喂？ 
[06:40.86]Yeah, hang on, one sec. Can I take this upstairs? 是，等一下 我可以到楼上讲吗？ 
[06:44.57]Sure. We don't live there, but.. 当然，我们不住在楼上，但是… 
[06:47.80]Seriously? It's just these rooms? 真的吗？只有这几间房间？ 
[06:52.47]- I thought you were a doctor. - Yeah. No, Ross has a Ph.D. -我以为你是医生 -不，罗斯有博士学位 
[07:02.08]God, she is unbelievable. 天啊，她真是不可思议 
[07:05.62]I know. I mean, a Ph.D. is just as good as an MD. 对啊，博士学位就跟医学学位一样好啊 
[07:08.92]Sure, Ross, yeah! 是喔，罗斯，对啊！ 
[07:10.83]If I have a heart attack at a restaurant, I want you there with your fossil brush. 如果我在餐厅时心脏病发 我会希望你跟你的化石刷子就在一旁 
[07:17.23]- Stupid Thanksgiving. - What? -愚蠢的感恩节 -怎么了？ 
[07:19.47]- What? What happened? - My boyfriend canceled on me. -怎么了？发生什么事？ -我男朋友跟我取消约会了 
[07:22.80]I mean, I finally find a real relationship. 我好不容易才找到一段真感情 
[07:25.47]Someone that I can spend this day with, and then his wife comes back into town! 一个可以跟我共渡今天的人 然后他老婆竟然回来了！ 
[07:30.61]I swear, it's almost not even worth dating married guys. 我发誓 跟已婚男人约会真是不值得 
[07:34.32]Don't say that. 别这样说 
[07:37.49]God, I was so looking forward to this. 天啊，我本来很期待今天的 
[07:40.12]It was gonna be such a beautiful Thanksgiving. 本来会是很美好的感恩节的 
[07:43.32]We were gonna have sushi. 我们本来要吃寿司的 
[07:46.96]Amy, don't cry. 艾美，别哭 
[07:50.80]- Ross, can I talk to you in private? - Sure, you wanna go upstairs, or..? -罗斯，我可以私下跟你谈谈吗？ -当然，你想要去楼上或是…？ 
[07:59.37]Look, I was thinking, if it's okay with Monica.. 听着，我想如果摩妮卡不介意的话… 
[08:02.54]I would like to invite Amy to Thanksgiving. 我想要邀请艾美跟我们共度感恩节 
[08:05.48]I think that's a great idea. It'll be like the Pilgrims bringing the Indians syphilis. 我认为这是个好主意，就像清教徒 把梅毒带来美国给印地安人一样 
[08:12.75]Look, I know she's a little tough to take. 听着，我知道她有点难搞 
[08:15.82]But she has nowhere else to go, and she's my sister. She's Emma's aunt. 但是她没有其他地方可以去了 而且她是我妹妹，是艾犸的阿姨 
[08:20.33]- And I would like them to bond. - I don't want them bonding too much. -而我想要让她们相处融洽 -我不想要她们相处太融洽 
[08:25.50]I don't want her telling Emma she needs a nose job. 我不要她告诉艾犸说 她需要整形 
[08:28.27]Ross, she may need one. We're just gonna have to make our peace with that! 罗斯，她很可能会需要的 我们也只能接受了！ 
[08:39.11]Amy.. 艾美… 
[08:41.52]Amy? 艾美？ 
[08:44.95]Amy! 艾美！ 
[08:46.59]I'm out in the hall. 我在外面 
[08:48.19]Your baby had some sort of explosion of stink. 你们的婴儿好像爆发出一股臭气 
[08:55.16]The bonding's going great. 相处的可真融洽 
[09:02.47]- Hi! - Hey. -嗨 -嘿 
[09:04.44]Hey, you guys. This is my sister, Amy. 嘿，大伙儿，这是我妹妹艾美 
[09:07.81]This is Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and you know Mon. 这是钱德、乔伊、菲比 还有你认识的摩妮卡 
[09:12.11]Oh, my God. 喔，我的天 
[09:13.78]You're on Days of Our Lives! 你有演《我们的日子》 
[09:16.18]Yeah. 是的 
[09:17.72]Wow! They must put a lot of makeup on you. 哇！他们一定是帮你化很浓的妆 
[09:23.29]Happy Thanksgiving. 感恩节快乐 
[09:26.69]- Hey. - Hi. -嘿 -嗨 
[09:30.83]So welcome. Is this the first time you're seeing Emma? 欢迎，这是你第一次见到艾犸吗？ 
[09:34.10]Yeah, I think so. It's nice to meet you, Emma. 是的，我想是的 很高兴认识你，艾犸 
[09:39.44]- Phoebe. - That's a funny noise. -菲比 -那声音真好玩 
[09:46.48]- Phoebe? I still need some help here. - Right. Okay. -菲比？我还需要你帮我 -好的 
[09:50.48]So it's not just the lie you tell, but it's the way you tell it. For example.. 不止是你说的谎言本身 你说的方式也很重要，例如… 
[09:55.09]if you look at the ground when you talk, people know you're lying. 如果你说的时候看着地上 人们就知道你在说谎 
[09:59.26]I don't know why this is so hard for me. Lying is basically just acting.. 我不知道为什么这对我如此困难 说谎基本上就跟演戏一样 
[10:03.46]- and I am a terrific actor. - You are a terrific actor. -而我可是演技精湛的演员 -你是演技精湛的演员 
[10:07.94]I could talk to the producers for you. I'm a great liar. 我可以帮你跟制作人说 我可是说谎高手 
[10:10.94]Take Monica's dress. I said I loved it. 举摩妮卡的衣服当例子，我说我很喜欢 
[10:13.01]- I hate it. - Hey! -事实上我讨厌极了 -嘿！ 
[10:14.71]I'm also a great moron. 我同时也是白痴高手 
[10:20.35]- Hey. Where's the baby? - We just put her down for a nap. -嘿，婴儿在哪里呢？ -我们刚把她抱去睡了 
[10:23.65]Listen, I was just thinking. You know what would be incredible? 听着，我刚刚在想 你们知道什么事会很棒吗？ 
[10:27.52]If you guys died! 就是如果你们死了！ 
[10:31.53]Thank you, Amy. 谢谢你，艾美 
[10:33.93]No, no, then I would get the baby. 然后我就可以得到婴儿 
[10:36.93]It would be just like a movie. At first I wouldn't know what to do with her. 就像是电影情节一样 刚开始我会全无头绪 
[10:41.44]And then I would rise to the occasion. Then I'd get a makeover and get married. 然后时机来临时 我会完全改变，然后结婚去 
[10:45.77]That's a great movie! 很棒的电影！ 
[10:49.64]Now, listen, not that you guys could stop me or anything.. 反正你们也不能阻止我… 
[10:52.95]because you know, you'd be dead. 因为你们已经死了 
[10:55.48]But I was thinking about changing her name. 但是我想要帮她改名字 
[10:57.95]I'm just not really a big fan of Emily. 我就是不大喜欢艾蜜莉 
[11:01.99]Emma. 艾犸 
[11:04.29]Emma? Ross wants you. 艾犸？罗斯在叫你 
[11:08.63]Phoebe! 菲比！ 
[11:12.00]Why does she keep making that noise? 她为什么一直发出那种怪声呢？ 
[11:17.57]Honey, I don't know how to tell you this.. 亲爱的，我不知道要如何告诉你 
[11:20.07]but if something were to happen to Ross or myself.. 但是如果我跟罗斯发生了什么事 
[11:24.61]- you wouldn't get the baby. - Well, who would? -你不会得到婴儿的 -那，谁会呢？ 
[11:28.52]Well, we haven't officially asked them yet.. 嗯，我们还没有正式问过他们 
[11:32.32]but we would want Monica and Chandler. 但是我们会希望是摩妮卡跟钱德 
[11:34.49]- Who? - You're in their apartment. -谁？ -我们正在他们的公寓里 
[11:38.93]I can't believe you'd want us to raise Emma. 我不敢相信你们要我们抚养艾犸 
[11:41.40]Oh, my God, I'm so moved. 喔，我的天，我真是太感动了 
[11:43.53]I don't believe this. Hold on a second. You guys die.. 我不敢相信，等一下 你们死了… 
[11:46.37]and I don't get your baby? 然后婴儿不是我的？ 
[11:49.07]Amy, see, we're a lot closer to Monica and Chandler. 艾美，我们跟摩妮卡跟钱德比较亲近 
[11:52.57]We see them every day. And truthfully, you don't seem connected to the baby. 我们每天都见面，而且老实说 你好像也不太亲近婴儿 
[11:57.04]Connected? To what? She's a lump. 亲近？亲近什么？ 她只是一堆肉 
[12:03.25]You know, guys, I've gotta say this means so much to me. 我必须要跟你们说 这对我意义重大 
[12:06.29]I mean, that you would trust me with your child. 我是说，你们肯相信我 托负你们的孩子给我 
[12:09.76]I mean, we all know that Monica and I have been.. 大家都知道摩妮卡跟我一直试着… 
[12:12.56]trying to have a baby of our own. 想要生小孩 
[12:15.06]You know, I've had my doubts about my skills as a father, but.. 我也有怀疑过 自己当父亲的能力，但是… 
[12:21.77]That you two.. 你们两个… 
[12:24.41]- That you two.. - This guy? -你们两个… -这个人吗？ 
[12:28.78]Seriously? 真的吗？ 
[12:35.75]Okay, it's time for dinner. 好了，晚餐时间到了 
[12:38.12]Everyone, we're using our fancy china.. 各位，我们将使用我们的精致瓷盘… 
[12:40.99]and it's very expensive, so please be careful. 它们是很贵的，所以请小心 
[12:51.77]Okay, just to be clear, comedy with the plates will not be well-received. 好了，再说明一次 不要拿这些盘子开玩笑 
[13:03.11]Hey! 嘿 
[13:05.05]How come my plate's less fancy than everyone else's? 为什么我的盘子不如别人的精致？ 
[13:10.12]Do you not trust me with a fancy plate? 你不信任我 不让我用你的精致餐盘吗？ 
[13:12.85]No, honey. That's a special plate. 不，亲爱的，那是特别的盘子 
[13:16.16]See, it's a game. Whoever gets that plate wins. 这是一个游戏 拿到那盘子的人就是赢家 
[13:21.43]I can't believe I won! 我不敢相信我赢了！ 
[13:25.17]You know, this is such a slap in the face. I mean, I'm your sister.. 这真的很侮辱，我是你妹妹… 
[13:28.64]and you would give your baby to these strangers over me. 你却可以把婴儿给这些陌生人而不给我 
[13:32.81]Monica is Ross' sister. 摩妮卡是罗斯的妹妹 
[13:35.84]No, Ross' sister was really fat. 不，罗斯的妹妹很胖的 
[13:41.18]That was me. 那就是我 
[13:43.32]No, she was this dorky girl in school who followed Rachel around like a puppy.. 不，她是个蠢蠢的女生 在学校时就像小狗一样跟着瑞秋 
[13:48.02]Amy, you've got to stop doing that! 艾美，我不许你再这样了！ 
[13:56.40]Okay, listen, I know you're having a bit of a family crisis.. 好了，我知道你现在正在经历家庭危机 
[13:59.47]but you don't have to take it out on the plates. 但是你不需要把气出在盘子身上 
[14:02.20]I mean, in fact, I think that everyone.. 其实我认为每个人… 
[14:05.21]should cut their food like this: 都应该这样切食物 
[14:11.41]Now, see? This way, you protect the plates.. 现在，看到了吗？ 这样不只可以保护盘子… 
[14:14.68]and let's face it, you have fun. 而且还挺好玩的 
[14:18.35]Okay, how about this? If you guys die.. 好吧，要是这样呢？ 如果你们死了… 
[14:21.29]and the crazy plate lady dies.. 而且疯狂盘子女士也死了… 
[14:26.06]- then do I get the baby? - No, if crazy plate lady.. -那我可以得到婴儿吗？ -不，如果疯狂盘子女士… 
[14:32.10]If Monica dies, then I would get Emma. Right? 如果摩妮卡死了 那艾犸就是我的了，对吗？ 
[14:39.41]- Well, actually.. - Actually what? -嗯，其实… -怎样？ 
[14:42.41]It's just.. It's just that in that case.. 只是… 如果是那样的话… 
[14:45.95]then Emma would go to my parents. 那艾犸就会去跟我父母亲住 
[14:48.38]- What? - Hurts, doesn't it? -什么？ -很伤你的心，对不对？ 
[14:54.05]Who has to die for me to get her? 我要等谁死了才能得到她？ 
[15:00.86]So if Monica's not around, I'm not good enough to raise Emma? 所以如果摩妮卡不在了 我就没有资格抚养艾犸了？ 
[15:04.37]No, that is not what we're saying. 不，我们不是这个意思 
[15:06.97]Yeah, he's lying. He looked down. 他在说谎，他看了地上 
[15:11.24]Well, what's wrong with me? Am I incompetent? 那我有什么不好的呢？我无能吗？ 
[15:13.57]Because I managed to survive whatever it is that killed the three of you! 因为无论是什么东西杀了你们三个 我都存活了下来！ 
[15:19.91]You're taking this the wrong way. We think you are going to be a wonderful parent. 你反应过度了 我们认为你会是很好的父亲 
[15:25.12]It's just.. You're more the, you know, fun parent. 只是…你是比较风趣的父亲 
[15:28.96]Yeah, and we wanna make sure Emma also has someone like Monica.. 是的，我们想要确定艾犸也有像 摩妮卡这样的人照顾 
[15:33.33]who's more of a disciplinarian. 比较有纪律的人 
[15:35.40]Someone who can be firm and strict. 比较坚定严格的人 
[15:38.43]That's not how you see me, is it? 你们对我的感觉不是真的那样吧？ 
[15:42.10]No, you're all about the fun. 不，你真的很好玩 
[15:50.81]I may not know a lot about babies, but do you really think I'm not capable? 我或许不是很了解婴儿 但是你们真的认为我没有能力吗？ 
[15:54.72]No. You both are equally capable. 不，你们两个能力相当 
[15:57.58]It's just you're strongest when you're together. 只不过你们在一起的时候是最强的 
[16:00.35]Okay. So if we both had Emma, and I died.. 好的，如果我们有艾犸，然后我死了… 
[16:04.86]she'd have to give her up. 她也不能拥有她 
[16:07.23]Sure. Monica would have to give her up. 当然，摩妮卡也必须把她让出来 
[16:10.46]I lie better than that, right? 我说谎说的至少比他好，对吧？ 
[16:14.77]Let me just get this straight. So my two friends die, I get Emma. 让我搞清楚，如果我的两个朋友死了 我得到艾犸 
[16:18.87]Then my wife dies. Then Emma, the one tiny ray of hope left in my life.. 然后我老婆死了，那我生命中剩下的 唯一一小块希望，艾犸… 
[16:23.14]- gets taken away from me? - There's your movie. -也会从我身边被带走？ -演的好精采哦 
[16:32.95]Hey, there you are. 嘿，你在这里 
[16:35.82]- You disappeared after dinner. - Did somebody miss me? -你在晚餐之后就消失了 -有人想念我吗？ 
[16:39.26]Was there a child to raise poorly? 有婴儿需要被无能的父亲抚养长大吗？ 
[16:42.70]Ross and Rachel don't know what they're saying. 罗斯跟瑞秋根本什么都不懂 
[16:45.13]It's not like they're so responsible. 他们自己也不是多有责任感 
[16:47.17]Emma is a product of a bottle of merlot and a five-year-old condom. 艾犸只不过是一瓶红酒 跟一个过期保险套的产品 
[16:53.47]No, but they're right. I'm not a strong father figure, and I never will be. 不，他们是对的，我不是强悍的父亲 我永远都不会是 
[16:57.71]No, you learn these things. You grow into it. 不，这些是要学习的 你会逐渐学会的 
[17:00.58]Yeah, but it's not who I am. 是的，但那就不是我了 
[17:02.55]Everything they said is exactly why I was worried about having a kid. And it's true. 他们说的一切，都是我担心有小孩之后 会面对的问题，是真的 
[17:07.86]- And look, everybody knows it. - I don't know it. -而且，大家都知道 -我并不知道 
[17:10.99]I wanna have a kid with you because I think you'll be an amazing dad. 我要跟你生小孩因为我认为 你会是很棒的父亲 
[17:14.73]At the fun parts and at the hard parts. 不管是风趣还是有纪律 
[17:17.56]Well, can you picture me saying, "Go to your room, you're grounded"? 那你可以想像我说 “回房去，你被禁足了”吗？ 
[17:21.90]Can you hear me say, "You're grounded"? 你可以想像我说“你被禁足了”吗？ 
[17:24.47]You said that to me last week. 你上星期才那样对我说 
[17:28.74]How hard is it? "No shoes on the furniture!" 我叫你不要穿着鞋子踏在家具上 到底有多难呢？ 
[17:38.79]The producer from Days left a message asking why I wasn't at the parade. 制作人刚刚留言 问我为什么没有参加游行 
[17:43.12]They said everybody's really pissed off at me. And they all got to meet Santa! 他说大家都对我很不爽 而且他们都有见到圣诞老公公！ 
[17:49.00]It's okay. I thought of the perfect lie for you. 没关系，我帮你想了一个完美谎言 
[17:51.60]It's easy to remember, and it doesn't invite a lot of questions. 很容易记，而且不会引来更多的问题 
[17:56.04]Does it have something to do with a spaceship? 是跟太空船有关的吗？ 
[17:58.41]The Statue of Liberty came to life.. 自由女神活了过来… 
[18:03.14]You weren't at the parade because you had a family emergency. 你没有参加游行 因为家里出了紧急状况 
[18:07.38]I like that! Yeah! 我喜欢！耶！ 
[18:09.92]I wasn't at the parade because I had a family emergency. 我没有参加游行 因为家里出了紧急状况 
[18:13.19]What happened? 发生什么事？ 
[18:15.32]- My sister's raccoon came.. - No, nothing with a raccoon! -我姐的浣熊… -不，别提浣熊！ 
[18:21.53]- Wait, what are you doing? - Setting the table. -等等，你们在做什么？ -摆餐具 
[18:24.53]We thought it might be nice to use the fancy china for dessert too. 我们觉得用这些精致餐盘来吃甜点 应该也很不错 
[18:28.60]How nice. Maybe later we can all go blow our noses on my wedding dress. 很不错，或许等一下我们可以 去拿我的结婚礼服来擤鼻涕 
[18:39.41]Hey, dude, you okay? Sorry about before. 嘿，兄弟，你还好吗？ 刚刚的事我很抱歉 
[18:41.92]That's okay. You're totally right. I don't know anything about disciplining a child. 没关系，你完全是对的 我根本就不知道如何管教孩子 
[18:46.32]But it did hurt my feelings, and I want you to know that if I die.. 但是我还是很伤心 而且我要你知道，如果我死了… 
[18:51.02]you don't get Joey. 你别想得到乔伊 
[19:07.04]In case you hadn't noticed, I'm not talking to you. 如果你还没注意到 我现在不会跟你说话的 
[19:12.21]You know, this is just.. This is classic Rachel. 真的是… 这是典型的瑞秋 
[19:15.18]Oh, yeah, right. Remember in high school when I died and didn't give you my baby? 喔，对喔，记得在高中我死的时候 也没有把我的婴儿给你吗？ 
[19:22.22]This might be my one chance to have a child, Rachel. 这或许是我唯一拥有小孩的机会，瑞秋 
[19:25.36]I mean, you know that I have been so busy focusing on my career.. 你知道我一直忙于我的事业… 
[19:28.86]- What career? - I'm a decorator. -什么事业？ -我是室内设计师 
[19:32.87]You decorate Dad's office and now you're a decorator? 你装璜了爸的办公室 就是设计师了吗？ 
[19:36.40]Okay, I went to the zoo yesterday, now I'm a koala bear. 好的，我昨天去了动物园 现在我就是无尾熊了 
[19:43.91]- Why can't you ever be supportive? - You wanna talk supportive? -你为什么不能多支持我一点？ -你要谈支持吗？ 
[19:47.88]You didn't come and visit me when I was in the hospital having the baby! 我在医院生小孩时你可没有来看过我！ 
[19:51.89]You didn't come see me in the hospital when I was getting my lips done! 我在医院整形嘴唇时你也没有来看我！ 
[19:57.36]I did the first time. 我第一次有去 
[20:01.73]You know what? You wanna know why I am not giving Emily to you? 你想知道我为什么不要 把艾蜜莉给你吗？ 
[20:05.33]- Emma. - Whose side are you on?! -是艾犸 -你是站谁那边的？ 
[20:09.14]I'm not giving you Emma because you can't handle the responsibility of a child. 我不给你艾犸，是因为你无法扛起 照顾小孩子的责任 
[20:14.17]Well, how hard could it be? You do it. 那有多难呢？你都做得到 
[20:21.95]You wanna know why you don't want me to have the baby? 你知道，你为什么 不想让我得到婴儿吗？ 
[20:25.39]Because you don't want me to be happy. 因为你不想看到我快乐 
[20:27.82]- You have always been jealous of me. - Jealous of what? -你总是在忌妒我 -忌妒你什么？ 
[20:31.63]Of your lack of responsibility? Your immaturity? 忌妒你没有责任感吗？ 还是你的不成熟？ 
[20:35.50]Your total disregard for other people's feelings? 你那种完全忽略别人感受的作为吗？ 
[20:38.70]To name a few. 这只是其中几项 
[20:42.90]You've always been like this. 你总是这样 
[20:44.71]You had to have everything, and I couldn't have anything. 你总是要所有的东西 而我什么都得不到 
[20:48.31]Like in junior high, when you stole Timmy from me. 就像在国中的时候 你抢走我的提米 
[20:51.68]I mean, do you even realize how much that hurt me? 你知道那伤我有多深吗？ 
[20:54.78]Timmy was my boyfriend, and you made out with him! 提米是我的男朋友 而你跟他偷亲热！ 
[20:57.42]Come on, that was 20 years ago. Get over it. 别这样，那已经是二十年前的事了 别太记恨 
[21:00.82]I cannot believe that I invited you here today! 我不敢相信我在今天邀请了你 
[21:03.92]Yeah, well, you know what I cannot believe? That my so-called sister.. 是喔，你知道我不能相信什么吗？ 我所谓的姐姐… 
[21:08.03]gets a 30 percent discount from Ralph Lauren, and I still have to pay retail? 有洛夫罗伦七折的折扣优惠 而我却要付零售价 
[21:15.27]It's 45. 是五五折 
[21:18.17]You bitch. 你这个贱人 
[21:22.54]You just think you're so perfect.. 你就是认为你很完美… 
[21:24.68]with your new baby and your small apartment. 拥有你的新生儿 还有你的小公寓 
[21:29.85]Well, let me tell you something. Your baby isn't even that cute. 让我告诉你一件事 你的婴儿并不怎么可爱 
[21:36.39]Too far, Amy. Too far. 太过分了，艾美，太过分了 
[21:42.33]- You take that back. - No. -你收回那句话 -不 
[21:44.56]- Take it back! - No. What are you gonna do? Make me? -收回那句话！ -不，你能怎样呢？强迫我吗？ 
[21:47.20]Hey, man, I work out! 嘿，我有上健身房！ 
[21:51.71]- So do I. - I do Pilates. -我也有 -我有做普拉提 
[21:53.84]- I do yoga. - Bring it on! -我有做瑜伽 -放马过来！ 
[21:56.08]Put the plates in the boxes! Put the plates in the boxes! 盘子放到箱子里！ 盘子放到箱子里！ 
[22:01.42]- Did you just push me? - Yeah, I think I did. -你刚刚推了我吗？ -是的，没错 
[22:04.05]All right, that's it. 好了，够了 
[22:05.55]Forget the bubble wrap! There isn't time! 别管泡泡包装了！没有时间了！ 
[22:10.59]Frizzy, frizzy, frizzy! 卷，卷，卷！ 
[22:17.20]- Shouldn't we stop this? - Are you out of your mind? -我们应该阻止她们吗？ -你疯了吗？ 
[22:20.03]Let's throw some Jell-O on them! 我们应该倒一些果冻到她们身上！ 
[22:24.94]Hey, someone could get hurt. 嘿，有人会受伤的 
[22:26.54]Kick her, Rach! Kick her! 踢她，瑞秋！踢她！ 
[22:29.28]Pull her top off, Rach! Pull her top off! 把她上衣脱掉，瑞秋！ 把她上衣脱掉 
[22:37.08]Gross! 恶心！ 
[22:50.40]All right, that is it! This is our apartment, and you cannot behave this way! 好了，到此为止，这是我们家 你们不可以有这种行为！ 
[22:55.54]If you can't act your age, you shouldn't be here at all. 如果你们不能表现得像成人 你们就不应该在这里 
[22:58.51]Those plates may not be as nice as the pretty pink ones that I picked out.. 那些瓷盘或许没有像我挑的那些 粉红色瓷盘好看… 
[23:04.28]but they're important to Monica. And I want you to apologize to her, now. 但是它们对摩妮卡很重要 而我要你们现在就跟她道歉 
[23:09.62]- I'm sorry. - Mon, I'm so sorry. -我很抱歉 -摩妮卡，我很抱歉 
[23:12.32]Okay. That's better. 好了，这样好多了 
[23:14.42]Now, I want you to apologize to each other and mean it. 现在，我要你们诚心地跟彼此道歉 
[23:18.36]- Sorry. - Sorry. -对不起 -对不起 
[23:19.99]By the way, that fight was totally arousing. 对了，刚才那场架真是让人情欲高涨 
[23:27.53]Dude, well done. 干的好 
[23:29.67]If I die and Rachel dies and Monica dies, you can totally take care of Emma. 如果我跟瑞秋还有摩妮卡死了 你可以照顾艾犸 
[23:35.44]Yeah? Well, thanks. 是吗？谢谢 
[23:37.71]So.. So now do I get Joey? 那… 那我可以得到乔伊吗？ 
[23:42.72]Okay. But you should know he eats a lot and shoves pennies up his nose. 好的，但是你得知道他一天吃五餐 而且还会塞硬币到鼻孔里 
[23:52.69]Are you okay, Mon? 你还好吗，摩妮卡？ 
[23:55.03]I mean, these things happen. I mean, it's just a plate. 这种事常发生的 只不过是盘子而已 
[23:58.90]- It's not like somebody died. - It's all right. You can mourn. -又不像是有人死了 -没关系的，你可以哀悼的 
[24:03.04]Thank you. It was so beautiful! 谢谢你 这些本来都很漂亮的！ 
[24:09.11]I'm gonna go to Joey's and get the pies. 我要去乔伊家拿几个派 
[24:11.58]Actually, not pies. It's just pie. 事实上，不是几个派，是一个派 
[24:16.72]I don't care. 我不在乎 
[24:19.09]Oh, my God, I've lost the will to scold. 天啊，我已经失去唠叨的力气了 
[24:26.73]Look, Amy.. 听着，艾美… 
[24:29.30]we got a little.. 我们有一点… 
[24:31.06]a little out-of-control over there. 失去了理智 
[24:34.60]And I'm sorry. 我很抱歉 
[24:36.24]You're my sister.. 你是我妹妹… 
[24:39.01]and if it really means that much to you.. 如果你真的很在乎… 
[24:41.74]- So you're gonna give me the baby? - No, I was.. -那你要给我你的婴儿了吗？ -不，我只是… 
[24:44.88]I was gonna let you use my Ralph Lauren discount. 我只是要让你用我的洛夫罗伦折扣 
[24:49.32]You are not gonna regret this. 你不会后悔的 
[24:55.12]- She needs changing. - No, no, no. I'll get her. -她要换尿布了 -不，不，不，让我去 
[24:58.56]I am super confident, totally responsible and fourth in line to raise Emma. 我超级有自信，完全有责任感 而且是扶养艾犸第四顺位的人 
[25:03.23]I'll be right there, Emma! Just let me get my trusty diaper bag here. 我马上就来，艾犸！ 先让我拿一下我的尿片袋子 
[25:13.14]Well, what do you know? I guess I'll be the one who dies first. 人算不如天算 我想我将是第一个死的人 
[25:26.19]- Does Monica know about her plates? - Nope. -摩妮卡知道瓷盘的事吗？ -不知道 
[25:30.09]- Broke them all, huh? - Yep. -全都打破了，是吗？ -是的 
[25:31.79]- You gonna tell her? - Nope. -你要告诉她吗？ -不想 
[25:35.70]Hey. So I'm gonna put the plates back. 嘿，我要把这些盘子放回去 
[25:39.47]I think you're right. We shouldn't use these plates for a long time. 我想你是对的，我们近期内不应该 再用这些盘子 
[25:43.00]- Like only if the queen comes? - Maybe not even then. -只有女皇来的时候才用吗？ -或许那也不是时候 
[25:47.61]Hey. I did it. 嘿，我办到了 
[25:49.34]I told my producer I had a family emergency. He totally bought it. 我告诉我的制作人说 我家里发生紧急事件，他完全相信我 
[25:53.01]- Thanks for teaching me how to lie. - No problem. Next week, stealing. -谢谢你教我如何说谎 -不用客气，下星期教你偷窃窃 
[25:59.05]- Bye, plates. - You told her you broke all the plates? -再见，盘子 -你告诉她你打破所有的盘子了？ 
[26:04.36]What?! Something happened with the plates? 什么？ 盘子发生什么事了吗？ 
[26:08.83]Yeah, this raccoon came in.. 是啊，一只浣熊跑进来… 
[00:00.00] 
